By Olivia Smith | Ministry Intern @ Valley & Mountain Fellowship
[dropcap]I[/dropcap] remember being introduced to the inside of the four walls, strangely animated saints, and long sermons – this was church. A place where I had to go, should go, needed to go. I would leave feeling good. My sins had been washed away, God loves me, Jesus is my savior. It was all good news. Furthermore, I was good at it. I knew when to raise my hands, bow my head, say hallelujah, shout on beat, smile, cry, and say “AMEN!”
I was good at churching. I did feel God. I felt something bigger and greater than myself. God was tugging me, and I would indulge as I was trained to do. I answered “The Call” by joining the choir, teaching children’s church, sending inspirational messages, reading the bible, praying.
Then life happened, the act had fallen apart. The inspirational messages did not deal with the pain, the loneliness, the depression, the lust, the ego, and the lies. We were all broken, and we acted as if we were not. As if God came to heal the healed, and not the sick.
Church seemed to be no more than the four walls, strangely animated saints, and long sermons – but still I felt something tugging me. This time I answered the Call in the morning at 6am, in a face full of tears, wrapped in a blanket, writing, Dear God…there was no preacher, there was no music or superficial smiles. God taught me that Church had absolutely nothing to do with the four walls we often hide within.
I am the church. My life, my response, my actions toward poverty, inequality, racism, sexism, hunger, and injustices define Church. My life is what God was calling for. Every moment I am given is not for me, but for someone else. God actually told me, that my calling has nothing to do with me and everything to do with someone else. I am simply blessed to be a vessel. I am blessed to be a blessing.
God has called me, and rather than answering the Call, and talking back, I am simply listening. In my listening God has led me back to church – this summer I am an associate minister intern for Valley and Mountian Fellowship in Seattle, Washington. The focus of this church is deep listening, creative liberation and radical hospitality. It is a church unlike what I have known, but God is not asking me to do the same ol’ thing.
I am going to be documenting and reflecting on my journey as I listen to “The Call” on my life. I hope to share with you what ministry is like – beyond the pulpit and the prayer. What does it mean to serve the community? What does mean to care for the least of these? How does a church respond to the acts of the racist terrorist in Charleston? The environment? The conflict in the Middle East? Does God not have something to say about all these things? Is the church only supposed to be inspirational? I believe it is to be more. If it’s not, we will find out together.
Olivia Smith is spending her summer serving at Valley and Mountain Fellowship, a spiritual community in the diverse South Seattle neighborhood of Hillman City as an associate minister intern. She is one of seven young adults spending the summer in ministry internships across the Greater Northwest Episcopal Area of The United Methodist Church. Olivia is blogging about her experience over at Livid Compassion.
