By Ryan Scott | Ministry Intern serving at Valley & Mountain in Seattle, WA
“Patience is a virtue.” Is that all it is though? Can patience be more? For some patience is frustrating, liberating, a spiritual practice, an afterthought, an ideal, a goal, an unrealistic expectation. Patience goes beyond being as simple as a moral platitude. In a chaotic and busy world, as such we are dealing with, today patience is either hard to find or just a momentary thought. I don’t think we give patience its due diligence.
The word patience comes from the Latin root word pati which means to suffer. This understanding sheds a whole new light on my understanding of patience. Am I really supposed to suffer? Was my mother telling me to suffer for dinner? Needless to say, the word has a different connotation today.
In “The Devil’s Dictionary”, a 1906 satirical “reference” book written by Ambrose Bierce, patience is described as a “minor form of despair disguised as a virtue.” I believe this definition is much more fitting in our world. Being patient in Seattle traffic is, indeed, a minor form of despair if not torture. Why then are we constantly told to endure, to suffer minor despair? Why is this despair a virtue?
Don’t come looking to me for the answer because you won’t find it. I have been constantly struggling to be patient in my discernment process. There were times when I wanted God to just tell me the answer. I wanted to know what my future looked like. After graduating high school I had a “future story” of what college degree I would get, what job I would have, and even what city I would work in. When God called me away from my future aspirations I felt a little lost. I didn’t know where I would end up, or what I would end up doing. There were most definitely moments of minor despair as I floated from job to job trying to find out what God wanted me to do.
Eventually I came to an understanding with God. I realized I didn’t need to have control. I didn’t need to have a grip on my future story. Once I let that go I felt more open to the word of God. I think I became a better listener. When you give up your own manufactured preconceptions of you and realize that it’s not really your life at all it changes you.
This wisdom has been immensely critical in my recent work here in Seattle. Working in a church and community with so much going on and so many voices I have learned that it is critical to be flexible and just let things be. God does not intend for me to fight every battle head on. Sometimes a little patience goes a long ways.
Patience is no longer a moment of despair disguised as a virtue to me. I now see patience as the settled reality that I am no longer in control.
Ryan is from Springfield, OR where he was a paraprofessional specializing in after school/community programming and 9th grade academic support/intervention with Springfield Public Schools and the Willamalane Park and Recreation District. Ryan was also the Youth Director for Trinity United Methodist Church in Eugene. Ryan’s passion for faith and youth was sparked by serving in Boy Scouts of America as a camp chaplain and scoutmaster where he was constantly exposed to the issues youth care about. This led to further exploration of a call to vocational ministry in the UMC. Ryan now serves at Valley and Mountain Fellowship, a spiritual community in the diverse South Seattle neighborhood of Hillman City as an apprentice minister.
