By Leona Weltzer | Epworth LeSourd United Methodist Church Lay Leader
At the end of someone’s life we usually both grieve the loss and celebrate their journey. My church, Epworth LeSourd United Methodist, is in the process of doing just that as we end our congregational life. We have found much to grieve about but also remember that we have much to celebrate of our life together.
We reluctantly acknowledged the change that is happening, but it is not easy even when we know that change is a never-ending process. We did not all vote in agreement of closure; certainly some stress there. Voting to close felt as if we were pulling the plug to end life support.
How do we find closure in this life together? Emotions run high. We have experienced grief, regret, denial, and anger; each have gotten in the way of emotions like anticipation and hope.
Ending well is not as easy as it might sound. We have so many memories, had so many expectations, and had so many dreams that will not come to fruition here in this place. It has been an absolute roller coaster of feelings of grief, a sense of failure, loss of direction, and wavering hope which led us to question where God was in all of this. Some have been coming to Epworth LeSourd for years. A few have recently found our place after years of searching.
I felt at first as if God had forgotten us. Were we the unfruitful branches that needed to be pruned? Could I even continue to be open to hearing God’s word each Sunday knowing that worship in this place was ending? I experienced feelings of both hope and despair. Hope and reality clashed. It has been pretty traumatic at times. For me there seemed to be this invisible, flashing, neon sign that said, “Closing! Closing! Closing!” Rather distracting, as well as discouraging, when you are in church to be one with the Holy Spirit and to feel God’s presence and love.
To make matters more confusing and frustrating, we had no clue of the process of closure. It was sort of the same as other churches that have closed, but not the same because we are not the same. We found no clear path. We have been hurt in the process of trying to figure it all out. We have accidentally stepped on each other’s toes and feelings as we tried to work it out. We felt separated from the connectional church – we didn’t know who to turn to. We had so many questions but few answers. We finally asked Brant Henshaw, the Conference Treasurer, to come and he talked to a group of us, patiently and graciously answering the questions we had at that point.
We had to find the strength of faith to make not just this very difficult decision of closure but then all the decisions thereafter for all the steps we couldn’t even begin to imagine that would be a part of the closure. We didn’t know how to answer questions like:
What will happen to…?
What do we do with…?
How will we decide…?
Or, who will decide….?
What will happen to us?
What will happen to this beautiful building?
But since our vote to close we have come a long way thanks to a number of people who have stepped forward. As the time gets closer to closing the doors to this place called Epworth LeSourd United Methodist Church, we have been making room for new opportunities and ways for the building to be used to benefit the local community.
We have taken a pretty good look around to assess what we can offer, and to whom we can offer as a legacy, so that the essence of what was will be given new life in a new place.
There is more to give than we first thought. We have an abundance that can be shared. We will also soon be offering ourselves in new ministries in new places. We feel we have a lot offer.
We are closing to allow this place of worship to become a new place for a new time and a new thing, in a much different world from when this place first started.
Where will I go next? I am not sure. I feel like I have a number of options, and as hard as this has been I don’t see myself leaving The United Methodist Church. Sadly, some in our congregation have chosen to leave the denomination. I am waiting for God to reveal my next step.
Please pray for the people of Epworth LeSourd as we commit to ending well and going on to serve in new places.
We will have a Celebration of Life for Epworth LeSourd United Methodist Church on June 14, 2015 at 4pm. I hope the church will be filled as it once was. I expect that there will be times for both laughing and crying in memory of all those who passed through the doors of this place and found God’s presence and love.
Well written, as usual, Leona! This is certainly a time when the grief and frustration are much closer to the surface and thus easier to access than the hope. I certainly have been wondering about some of those same questions myself, and especially about the fate of those amazing stained glass windows that were so patiently, painstakingly preserved just a few decades ago. We look forward to seeing you and that grand old building again on June 4th, and are holding all of you, DS Cara Scriven, and the conference in our prayers!
Terry
Terry, just wanted to note that the date of the celebration is June 14th, not the 4th. Hope to see you there!
Thanks for writing about a difficult time in the life of Epworth. Letting go is never an easy thing, and although our faith would teach us otherwise, we all get attached to the trappings of our church life.Our DNA seems to move us to cherish the familiar. Maybe we would do well to be more like our pastors, and be required to move to form new communities of faith every 5-10 years. It could breathe fresh life into our own journeys of discipleship and perhaps a new spirit into the Body of Christ.What would the Sacred look like in a situation like this? Who would we recognize as our neighbor? What practices and forms would become foundational to the Body of Christ? What would be the right size for such church communities? Would the laity find new strength in sustaining the spirit in a dynamic church model based in ever changing communities?
We celebrate the hard decisions made and being made by our brothers and sisters at Epworth. We pray that they and the Body of Christ may be strengthened by their faithfulness.
Grace and Peace be unto you,
Michael Shaw
I would like to speak with Ms. Weltzer. My name is Eileen Thrift. I am part of the lay leadership of The Open Door UMC in Cocoa, FL. Our church phone is 321-636-4811
If someone can tell me how to reach her, I would appreciate it. Thank you.
Here is our website: http://www.fumc-cocoa.org/
It’s been a few years now since closing and it still stings. I still dream of my beloved Epworth and wake up with happy memories. May God continue to bless us all.