An Open Letter to the UMC

An Open Letter to the UMC
By Amy Pazan | Photos by Wikimedia Commons

Amy Pazan, an active young person in The Pacific Northwest Conference passionately voices her concerns – with suggestions for clergy and laity to better connect for the needs of young people.

Dear UMC,

You’re failing the young people in your churches.  You wonder why young people are rapidly leaving the church and don’t plan on coming back?

Well, here are four areas of improvement I feel are necessary for better relationships with young people (at a time when they so desperately need the church in their lives):

1. Lack of acceptance
2. Understanding a young person’s story
3. Lack of initiating relationships with young people
4. Ignoring the voices of young people

Acceptance of who they are as individuals fully.
Currently, our Church is doing its best to be inclusive with different people who may feel left out, on the outside looking in.  In many areas, LGBTQ people are a large population of the community. How we interact and accept them into the church plays a big part in them choosing to stay or leave.  We need to accept them for who they are – without having to ask questions when it is not needed.  Allow them to be themselves fully in your presence. Our churches should be a place where we feel love and acceptance – not fear, shame, and abandonment.

Understanding that each person has a story.
Sometimes, a story isn’t what we are expecting from a young person. Though for every story told, there will be many more stories that will be silent out of fear and shame.  Listen from your whole heart to understand why they believe they’re living life in fear, afraid of what comes next.  This might be their only outlet in trying to get help.

Lack of relationships and mentorships
Lack of relationships and mentorships with clergy and laity is something young people are missing and so desperately need. As a young person, I shouldn’t have to be the one to initiate a connection with a clergyperson or layperson in the church. Leadership in the church should be excited and more enthusiastic in wanting to work with young people.  Building relationships and sharing experiences that can help transform our churches into something new is what we need to help grow a healthy church – and not just in the normal brick & mortar ways that have been used for the last 100 or so years.

Be in relationship with young people: talk with them and understand their voice and how they relate to the local church, conference, and even the greater worldwide Methodist Church. Young people want connection with clergy and laity at a deeper level more than just talking with each other during coffee hour on Sunday – we want to grow in our faith.  Having experienced mentors is important for young people because we need people who know what we are going through as we grow up.

But by ignoring the voices of young people, the Church is putting its own health at risk. At so many meetings and annual conferences, we are told the future of the church begins with the young people of today. Yet how often are we allowed to hear young people voice their opinions on topics that matter to them? Not very often.

Sometimes I feel that no one gives us the full attention that we deserve.  There have been many times when my friends and I have wanted to speak during plenary sessions at annual conference, but were pushed away because  there wasn’t enough time left in a session or for the Bishop to recognize us.

Ask us young people what we have passion for. Ask us what interests us. Ask us what makes us tick. Ask us questions about anything and everything. When you don’t ask us questions about why we feel a certain way towards an issue we feel like we don’t matter and that you don’t care that we are even here.

Be ready for the vulnerability of young person who is expressing issues deep within their heart.  Be ready for discomfort in knowing how the Church is hurting and losing the lives of young people.

I beg of you – I plead of you. The next time you’re with young people, accept them.  Ask them with all honesty if they are doing okay. Try to understand them.

Work towards being in relationship or mentorship with young people.  Listen to what young people have to say.  You might even learn something from them on a more personal and deeper level than ever before.

Who knows?  As a clergy or lay person, your invitation to a young person could be what’s needed – either through a listening ear or a kind word of wisdom – in order to foster meaningful, spiritual, life-giving relationships and even prevent some of our young people from harming themselves.

Sincerely,

Amy Pazan

Amy Pazan is a member of Aldersgate UMC (Bellevue, Wash.)
and is a student at Central Washington University (Ellensburg, Wash.).